The National Enquirat was a tabloid that Rat ran for a while, taking photos of his friends and lying about the content of them. (For example, he once took a photo of Goat after asking for an Advil pill; with the pill in his hand visible, Rat published it, claiming Goat was a drug addict.) Rat finally stopped publishing it after noticing that, even though he was making lots of money, he still wasn't happy.

Issues of the National Enquirat

  • June 25, 2007 Issue: Zebra Explodes In Night Of Rage! Four Stabbed With Greasy Fork! "I thought I knew him." says former associate. Substance Abuse Suspected! Boyhood Town Feels "Great Shame."
  • June 29, 2007 Issue: Pig Snagged In Lurid Tryst! "Sick, sick, sick." says cop. Pays Cash For Affection From Octogenarian. Mother Disowns Degenerate Son. Scorned Ex Left To Pick Up Pieces.
  • July 2, 2007 Issue: Drug-Addled Goat Busted In Massive Narcotics Sting. From Alter Boy to Altered Boy: One Goat's Descent Into Sin
  • July 6 Issue: Don't Ask, Don't Tell? Sarge: "I'm not pleased."